Falling in love with writing again thaAfter finishing my media and journalism degree, I had fallen out of love with writing. I used to do it a lot and I used to really enjoy it, it was never a chore, I used to relish having an assignment or just some free time where I could really write, like myself.
I never really thought that I had my own style, I just always assumed that everyone else wrote like I did, but one of the best compliments I ever received was from one of my favourite tutor’s – and really one of the reason’s I picked Stirling (after meeting him at my tour) Jairo Lugo-Ocando – who now teaches at University of Sheffield, but he was at Stirling for a few years. The best compliments came from him. The first one was at a lecture he was giving during the tour of the university, on the open day.
I sat in his lecture and thought “This guy is amazing, I would love to learn from him” my mum even said she thought he was great, so I went up and introduced myself to him, and after I had given my name he said to me “I read your personal statement on your application, it was amazing.” I thought to myself originally “I bet he doesn’t remember it, he is just saying it to be nice.” – and then, to my utter surprise, he pulled a quote from it. My jaw hit the floor. I just nodded completely shocked that someone had actually read my personal statement, let alone remembered any of it.
He then told me that he had read it loads of times, and had even shared it with other tutors in the department. He said he loved it, and that I was born to write.
In all honesty I can’t remember what I wrote now, but I remember at the time being told by college tutors that it wasn’t formal enough. I wrote it in under 30 minutes really close to the deadline, but what I do remember is I wrote how I have always written and from the heart. So hearing someone who was a university tutor telling me that he had loved it and had reread it was amazing to me. We spoke for at least 15 minutes about what I wanted to get from my course and what he thought the course would offer me and although I already knew Stirling was where I wanted to go, this talk with him really solidified in my mind that Stirling was my first choice.
But this wasn’t the only compliment that Jairo gave to me during the time we spent together. One time (and at the time it was so embarrassing) he made me stand up in the middle of our seminar class, after he had given work back. He made me stand up and he said (and I remember it so clearly, because I can remember all of the pissed off faces of people around me)
“Emma, stand up. Stand up! I want you to take a look at her, because she is the only person in this class cut out to be, and one day will be an editor-in-chief.”
I was so embarrassed yet so pleased at the same time.
He also told me more than once that “I love everything that you write, you have a very unique voice when you write Emma, please never lose it. Learn how to adapt it so that it can be used across a spectrum of things. And never let anyone tell you any different. You will go far. I know it.”
These were some of the biggest compliments that I have ever gotten in my life. I had never really thought that anything I have written would be read or be loved. To have someone how is an amazing writer in his own right sit there and tell you that you have a talent and that they love it and your work, is just unbelievable. Like I said, I never really thought I had a voice or that there was anything remotely unique or special about the way I write, but apparently there is. Having someone believe that you could be anything gives you a feeling that can’t be explained. Obviously I’ve had my mum telling me I’m great my whole life, but she has to. I mean, I’ve seen some of thCoe art work she kept from when I was a kid and she told me that it was amazing, it’s shit. Like really shit. She must really love me to really say with confidence that the picture is amazing and she loves it. But for someone who really knows what they are talking about to say it, for once, words escape me.
I also got a really lovely message from a young woman named Hannah. She messaged me to say that she has been reading my blog and even at times has been moved to tears. I am hoping that these aren’t from how bad it is. She also told me, as a fellow journalist in training and a creative writing student, that she loved my voice and my style. Coming from a fellow writer, it is such a compliment, and honestly, to have another person tell me that I have a voice in my writing made me happier than I’ve been in a long time. – So Hannah, if you are reading this. Thank you.
Her little act of kindness of taking a few minutes out of her day to say that she had been reading my blog and that she enjoyed it, and all of the other lovely things that she said… it means a lot.
It also made me realise that this blog is reaching people, and that again is a great feeling.
Knowing that I have a very small audience and that they like my writing has made me want to write more, when I’m feeling well enough. So I really am going to try to focus and write more. About more than just my health, but definitely more about love too, and everything in between.
I also hope that me falling in love with writing again might in a way, help someone else fall in love with it again. I hope it creates a chain reaction and helps people think “if she can do it, I certainly can.”
I will endeavour to write more frequently again. I’ve had a busy couple of weeks, but this weekend I will try to get back on top of it.